Keeping it subjective

I'm not sure it's really possible to look at a garden objectively. When I read about gardens and gardening, I'm always irked when I sense that someone passes judgement in a negative kind of way. Luckily, I have not found much of this, because in all the different arenas that elitists can be found in the world, being a gardening elitist is almost an oxymoron to me. I do believe everyone is entitled to his or her own personal opinion. In fact, in the blogging world, that's exactly what most of us are doing - expressing personal opinions. However, upon evaluating other gardeners' gardens, I personally will strive to live by the motto - to each his/her own. Some illustrations...

You will never find dirt under my fingernails. Dirt under the fingernails seems to be somewhat of a gardening cliche. I read something somewhere recently that implies that one is not a "true" gardener unless one has dirt under one's fingernails. Though I come in from gardening with my clothes and hair covered in dirt, grass, bugs, etc., you'll never find dirt under my nails. Why? I just don't like it. I own about 10 pairs of gardening gloves and wear a fresh clean pair every time I walk out the back door. I hope my hours in the garden, and not the dirt, would qualify me as a "true" gardener nonetheless.

My neighbor has Mickey Mouse statues in her garden bed. The statues of the original Disney characters are about 10 inches high and are dressed for Christmas, with Mickey as Santa. I don't understand this. I don't like it. I would never have it in front of my house. I chuckle in my head every time I walk by. However, I try not to scoff. I try not to shake my head. Surely there must be some reason? Maybe they were a gift from someone special? Maybe they sit on cement bases that are buried in the ground? Maybe someone died this year and they've not gotten around to putting them away? Maybe they just like them? I really don't know, but I do know this - Merry Christmas, and more power to them.

I almost got the silliest tattoo. When I was 16, I was certain the coolest tattoo would have been a skull with rainbow eyes. It had a symbolic meaning for me. It was an amazing concept. I would have worn that tattoo with pride. For about 2 years. Until I realized it was pretty silly. Surely tastes change over time. Surely what I think is really cool this year and took pictures of, and maybe even posted on this blog, I will look back a few years from now and think - oh how embarrassing that I would think this was attractive. Hopefully my artistic eye and gardening skills will improve over time as well. Garden elitists - surely you started somewhere too? Surely you were inexperienced and naive about what looked good at some point in your life? Surely as dynamic individuals, your tastes have evolved over time?

I live in a split level house in the suburbs of Maryland. The walkway to my house from our little driveway is a typical curve, and I have shade on the left side of my house. My husband grew up in Florida with a dirt/sand front yard and he loves our grass lawn. All these factors play a big part in how my garden will look. I basically have a little patch of land in the suburbs. As much as I would like to subscribe to the anti-perimeter planting school, I don't have a lot to work with. I don't have tons of money to put into landscaping (not more than I've already invested in my backyard slope project). Aside from some colorful Target pillows and chair pads, I don't have great backyard furniture. Regardless of the garden that is put in, it will always exist next to a beige siding split-level house in the suburbs. I can, and will, make it a lifelong goal to improve the way my garden looks, but it will never be a charming clapboard cottage. It will never be a stately brick colonial. It will never be a modernist bungalow.

I plan to grow hyssop. I don't know what this is. I do know that one day, I plan to have a special herb garden dedicated to my mother in law who passed away several years ago. There were certain herbs she always talked about such as hyssop and echinacea. Hopefully hyssop will not be an ugly plant. If it is, hopefully no one will stop by and judge the ugly hyssop, or the common echinacea, because there will be deep meaning behind their existence. When I find a garden with plants I don't love, I need to remind myself that I'm really not sure why a certain plant has found it's way into that garden.

Similarly, my mom used to wear Tea Rose perfume. She used to wear it when I was little - about 10 years old or so. Personally, I feel the rose is fairly common. To me, common usually means boring, though I've come to like the rose more and more each year. However, I do have one tea rose and when I catch that fragrance each summer, I am instantly transported to a different place and time. Of course I feel young, but I also feel protected, innocent, and just totally carefree - like I don't have to make dinner, or pay bills, or make doctor's appointments, or go to work. Like I can just play tag outside with my sister, or wait for my mom to tell us what the plan for the day is. This is why a tea rose will always have a sunny spot in my garden.

In China there are certain flowers all great gardens have. My father is obsessed with his large-flowering chrysanthemums. In a month or so, he will have about 40 or 50 potted plants all lined up on his patio. I thought he was just being nutty and going overboard like he does with most things, until I bothered to ask him why the hell he was growing so many. I also suggested he grow dahlias, which are also very pretty but bloom all summer. He told me that in China the traditional gardens of royalty all included large-flowering chrysanthemums. This is when I looked around and viewed his large pond filled with waterlilies, edged with weeping willows, framed by peonies, and realized oh my god. He is trying to create the China he left when he was a boy. While I thought he was just being dismissive when he shot down my dahlia idea, turns out there is a cultural and extremely endearing reason for the composition of his garden.

I do have personal opinions. I do think certain things are tacky. I do enjoy certain gardens I see more than others. I hope to refine my taste. I hope to gain knowledge over the years and become very successful at what I enjoy doing. And when I'm an expert in my area of interest, when my garden is totally kick-ass and looks straight from the pages of a magazine, when I'm asked to do shows and write feature articles about garden trends or garden classics, I hope to remember some of the factors that I've mentioned above and realize that a lot about gardening is subjective. We all love gardening for a reason, maybe many reasons. We all love certain plants, colors, combinations, fragrances, styles for a reason.

Thoughts?